the cartwheel

the 8 days on the beautiful Gulf Coast that i feared might not come to fruition
have come & gone
we're home safe & sound
the beach .....it was perfect


the laundry is done
sand is brushed off the flip flops
boogie boards are back up in the attic
sun tanned skin
hair that's a little more blond than a week ago
thousands of photos taken
a 700 & something page book remains unread
& probably a few pounds gained thanks to all the fantastic food

that first photo, caroline cartwheeling. well she did that....all day. hundreds of cartwheels. such a happy child.

i realized on the way home
( while worrying because my coolant light came on while we were in the middle of no mans land...seriously)
that i need to throw some cartwheels


unfortunately i come with expectations


it's awful...i wish i was a cartwheeling kinda girl
maybe if i lived there, i'd cartwheel freely
but my heart needs those 8 days to be perfect
a time to nourish my soul smack dab in the midst of the other 356 days of the year

i expect white sand & the most crystal clear water
i expect sunny days
i expect memories made with my favorite 5 people in the world
i expect secrets shared and hands held
i expect to be on the beach each night & soak in the breathtaking sunset


i expect no oil spills
& no sad stories about dolphins covered in oil
i expect my camera to work
& the shrimp to taste incredible

i expect my car to run efficiently & have no issues
i expect to shop at my favorite little shops
& for my frozen nonfat vanilla latte to be smooth & perfect

its not too much is it?
8 days of perfection....surely not

but my type A, professional worrier self gets the best of me

i was all knotted up the week before we left
worrying
i had a mini nervous breakdown when i lost the first day of my photos
& while my lap top and camera weren't working
seriously...i lost it

i sat in the bathroom & sobbed
it's a sickness , i realize this
but if it isn't documented and i don't mean on a mobile upload
i'm talking high res jpeg, backed up on my external drive AND my flash
photos
& hundreds of them

moments captured so my heart can remember the giggles
remember what my girls profiles look like as they gaze over the ocean
remember how my handsome man never complains no matter how many photos i take
remember the girl's cute little beach figures, whether 2 years old or 17 years old

but while we were on vacation
i saw more people than i've ever seen before
doing the exact same thing
with their nikons and their canons

& i realized i'm not alone
& i think it's ok
it's ok to have a place where i want time to stand still
i just need to work on that ugly pesky worry part of my personality
& maybe
next year
throw
a
cartwheel