routine, disappointment & maybe some accountability

for the first time that i can remember
i was not ready for my girls to head back to school

yesterday as they cheerfully headed out the door
i ran downtown to my staff meeting
washed & lined dried all the white slipcovers
and actually prepared a real meal, complete with all the colors
back in the routine

i'm sure as many of you
i feel the days are over & its on to the next one
while never really feeling caught up
much less with time to spare

while i am in my routine and i love a routine
the routine is usually all about me & my little world
i want something more
i want to give more

the realization that summer was over yesterday
brought with it a sense of disappointment
disappointment in myself
for not making happen what i had hoped would happen

back in the spring i really felt a conviction
followed by a desire to plug into some sort of ministry here in atlanta
something way out of my comfort zone
something i could do along with my oldest three

i contacted a few ministries & began to pray that the Lord would open whatever doors were needed
& give me direction

i had a vision in my heart of the girls and i
spending a day a week
working side by side
possibly in a home for unwed teenage moms
maybe a food kitchen

i also contacted a ministry
whose mission is to build relationships and provide hope, intervention, rescue and assistance to women and children exploited in the sex industry
they have a prevention program for at risk children living in extended stay hotels

i got the names
i emailed the folks
i prayed
but i didn't DO it
i didn't follow through

yet


my little world needs to enlarge
i believe it's a disservice to my girls
if i raise them to be the best they can be
yet forget those in need

why do i share this?
well
i need some accountability
what good is an epiphany moment if it's not acted upon?

i'm not exactly sure what ministry i'm going to plug into
i blew it as far as summer time with the girls
they lead campus programs at their schools
they are involved in community service
& that's awesome!
but i would love to for us to get out there, together, see & touch someone who really needs help
needs to hear the gospel
& needs to see that they are loved

i might get brinkley certified to be a therapy dog
& he and i can head over to the children's hospital and love on some sick ones
savannah & i may head to peru or haiti
we may prepare a meal & take over to the home from unwed pregnant teens
may get plugged in & help serve the women in the sex industry
i don't know
but i do know one thing

i will give back because i have been given much
somehow
soon



besides the fact that i failed the ministry plan for the summer
i also failed to get a handle on my growing photo files
somewhere in the 4000+ range
and that's just in the last 30 days
seriously
i'm not lying
anyway~
hence the peonies i took back in april
forcryingoutloud

& thank you
thank you for all your warm words regarding the death of Dan's daddy
& thank you for being a community
that encourages me & maybe can even hold me accountable
xo