failing to give

i think one of , if not the biggest, regret in raising my girls

is that i failed to show them a lifestyle of giving.

a few months ago one of my daughters pointed that out to me.

& it's ok.

i clearly needed the conviction.

she wasn't being rude or disrespectful

& since we're in a good place in our relationship, it was easier to take.

but that statement has simmered in my heart ever since.

at first i wanted to share with her how many unseen times i wrote a check

or made a donation

but honestly, any extravagant giving i've been involved in was just as a sideliner of my most generous hubby's actions.

i've often thought that i'd be a giver

if i had "more".

an arbitrary amount this "more"

what a joke. but it's true.

it's all relative isn't it?

& would i?

would i really give more if i had more?

yeah. 

ouch.

the bigger picture?

clearly

is that i failed to give and make generosity a lifestyle.

while i love to lavish my own girls with cards & gifts

having a guest room available for someone in need

going on a mission trip to love on orphans

giving my money to someone who needs it more

those are the things i want to do.

i want to be generous.

i do.

i failed at showing my children that principle while they were young

but i want to change.

scripture calls us to give

especially to the widows and the orphans.

it's not a suggestion

it's a command.

whenever i ponder that principle i can't help but think of the friends and families,

some of which i don't even know the names or the specifics,

who helped me when i was widowed.

despite my failure

i've recently seen my girls give.

caroline has a generous spirit.

whenever she has cash, she loves to give it.

the picture above was taken on our way out the door to Passion City Church

(side note. if you are anywhere near atlanta, or south of the mason dixon line

i strongly encourage you to come visit there. seriously!)

she completely emptied her wallet & was taking that as her offering.

i tell you this because that convicted my heart.

i've never ever given everything i have. never.

& let me tell you,

i know the Lord rejoiced over her $7

as much as He rejoiced over the big huge check of the CEO or wealthy man that night.

there's so many details & stories woven in this particular post

that i hope to share soon.

tomorrow i'll introduce you to a friend of mine.

she wants to equip moms 

to teach their children godly principles about finances.

that's where the little jar caroline is holding comes in to play.

this morning i read a passage in mark.

it's not about me...i'm not comparing myself to the widow in this passage,

but what it encourages me

is that the Lord sees our hearts.

He loves when we give out of a cheerful heart ( 2cor9.7)

but He knows when that giving comes from a place of sacrifice

& He honors that too.

so whether living in abundance (which if we are holding a lap top or an iphone or an ipad

we are living abundantly. let's face it)

or living in a place where we feel our small donation isn't "enough"

or big enough to move mountains

He can

& He will

& He sees.

 Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. 

Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.

  Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions.  For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.

mark 12.41~44 


&ps. jamie. YOU and your generous spirit inspire me to be a giver. i love you. xo.