spring's first day

it was the week that would usher in the first day of spring.

i sat across the desk from him.

he, the young & handsome a doctor.

i sat beside him.

he, the father of the baby i carried inside me

& the daddy to the two babies back at home.

cancer

it was inside him

& would now be our focus

for 9 months.

the handsome doctor told us that if gregg could make it to the 

5 year mark, he'd beat it.

9 months later

i buried the man i sat beside that day.

a good man

a man that i was crazy about & loved dearly.

not one to make things overly spiritual

yet

one who doesn't want to miss the miracle in the small details either...

5 years later

exactly
on the first day of spring

the Lord gave me a gift
wrapped in blond hair, blue eyes & a button nose

a reminder that He is good.

a reminder that although we live in a broken world with sin

and cancer

and tsunamis

and divorce

and child trafficking

and war

that we have a God who is always with us
who always hears our prayers
sees our tears
& He is good.

her life grew inside me for 9 months.
the same amount of time cancer robbed gregg of his.

now 10 years have passed
& she's growing up.
15 years have passed & we still miss him.
i look back on both of those first days of spring.

both reshaped my little world.

one, although it was one of the darkest days of my life

seems like a lifetime ago

yet anytime i drive by that hospital

my breath catches in my throat

& i remember.

10 years later

i look back on the other first day of spring

it was one of the the most amazing days of my life.

i see my baby girl

& my breath catches in my throat.

she is my reminder that He is good.

she is my sign of hope.

happy 10th birthday little one

i love you more than you'll ever know....

& then some

mama

(these are not recent shots but they are from my favorite shoot of her)