all is right in my little world, tonight

 (written late friday night. posted monday morning)

 i don't know what's come over me

it's midnight 

& i'm awake

blogging & facebooking like i'm a night owl or something

little bit has come into our bedroom the last two nights with a raging fever

she feels better in the day time but bottoms out at night

the doctor told us today she just has a virus

poor thing

school starts on monday, 5th grade

& she's all puny

the last two evenings she's asked if she could fall asleep in our bed

while i'm reading & dan's sitting in his chair watching baseball & reading "Radical"

dan wanted to make sure that i had given her the green light "because these days are numbered"

yeah.no kidding

the last several days i've caught myself tearing up more than i EVER have

ever. period.

this sending away my first born

to live somewhere else

is killing me

& ya'll, i'm not trying to be funny

i like her

i really do like the young woman she's grown in to.

i like her here. with me. thank you very much.

i think once our children pass on through that awkward phase into the young adult phase

has to be one of, if not my absolute, favorite stage

no lie

i must be dysfunctional

& to be perfectly honest

i've searched my heart to make sure i'm not all "living through my child &all"

& i'm not.

what i am
however

is a mama 

who wanted above all to be a mama

& i've come to realize, that i like all my baby children in my nest

while i'm not a hover mom

i don't need to be the team mom for every event they're involved in

nor do i attend everything they do

(not that there's anything wrong with that)

i try to give them some space
some elbow room

but living in a "different place" space is a whole new ballgame

i want to see them dressed up heading out the door

i want to hear who's dating who

& who said what

 what their current favorite song is

& i want to cook their favorite dinner

& have them all around my table as much as possible

with their friends

i know my posts have been all sappy lately

but this is my heart

i love tonight

while little bit was trying to drift in to neverland

all three girls kept coming & going from my bedroom

chatting and laughing at different times

dan gave in and has sacked out on the floor ,for now, beside brinkley

while little bit dozes and snuggles up beside me

she smells like a warm buttered biscuit

i could just eat her up

savannah is down the hall, picking out rush outfits with bailey

& all is right with my world....

for tonight