it's hard to believe she's big enough to go to kindergarten
her backpack is half as big as she is
she's all dressed up wearing her red mary janes
& little cotton dress that seems a tad too big
her pink lunchbox has a little note to remind her you love her
you wonder how on earth you'll get through the next 8 hours, everyday for the next 10 months
you walk by her bedroom & make her bed, her pillow still smells just like her
you wonder if her teacher knows how fantastic she is
if she'll hug her and tell her she's amazing
will she tell her she's capable of changing her little world
will the other 20 children in her classroom play nicely
but it's just what you do
you put her on that big yellow bus
& give her away
for the day anyway
you trust her in the care of another.
it's a happy day. really it is.
yet there's a part of your mama's heart that's breaking away.
but they say you'll be fine.
it's just what you do.
then what seems something like two weeks later...
it's hard to believe she's really going away to college
you've seen her all dressed up in a cocktail gown
it certainly isn't a tad too big
& think to yourself, she's surely the most beautiful girl at the dance
in your heart of hearts you sometimes feel you're still her age
& wonder why she had to grow up so fast.
instead of that green & yellow box of 24 crayons
you've bought her a mac book to take with her
& instead of writing sweet notes for her lunch box you're writing on her facebook wall
you wonder if her professor knows she's amazing
surely he or she won't hug her & tell her she's wonderful
she's going to change her world
instead of choosing between chicken nuggets or fish sticks
she'll be choosing the next president of the united states
you walk by her room. it's pretty empty now. you wonder, does her pillow still smell like her?
as you drive away from the dorm
you wonder out of 30,000 people on her campus, who will be her lifelong friends
you wonder how you'll get through, not just 8 hours, but this next phase of her life.
of your life.
you're giving her away all over again.
it's a happy thing. really it is.
but yet there's a part of your mama's heart that's breaking away.
they say you'll be fine
it's just what you do
in what will surely seem like a blink away,
there will a day
your soul mate will have her hand wresting on his arm
he'll walk her down that aisle that seems too short.
their walk down the aisle is not long enough for you to think back through all the years.
you remember that first day in kindergarten.
you remember books & braces and her proms.
she'll be wearing a gown that takes your breath away
you're certain she's the most beautiful bride. ever.
you'll be up on the front row looking back at everyone smiling
you wonder if they all realize she's amazing
he'll kiss her & surely will be crying
he'll place her hand in his
he surely knows she's amazing
& he surely will know she's the most beautiful young woman
she'll surely change his world
it's a wonderful happy day
they say you'll be just fine.
for this mama, today, it's just a dream
yet you know in your heart it'll be here in the blink of an eye
it's constant
this giving away
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