for my friend edie

when tragedy occurs in the life of another

it leaves us in a place of not knowing what to do, how to respond, or even how to help.

our daily conversations

are taken to a depth that is both uncomfortable & frightening.

uncomfortable because

we don't know what to do

we don't know how to help

we don't know what to say

we can't even imagine their pain much less verbalize our thoughts.

frightening because

we're in an emotional place that is dark

that threatens to rob our normalcy.

the normalcy in which we find comfort and security

we want to take their pain away

we wish the tragedy had never occurred

i remember after gregg died

one of the challenges for me was to let things go that people either said

or the things that were actually never said

things like..."its meant for your good"

the "well at least you have..."

but maybe even the more painful to me

was seeing a friend who said nothing

who never even acknowledged our loss. my pain.

who obviously felt that not bringing up the obvious would somehow bring me comfort.

while i didn't want to dwell in the sad place, i needed affirmation.

just a simple "i'm sorry....i'm praying"

i time i began to realize that people many times just don't know what to say

& that some feel saying nothing will help be a distraction to the tragedy.

i've probably done the same to someone else. & for that i am deeply sorry.

probably besides the obvious overwhelming single parenting issue i faced,

the biggest fear that stared me down was the fear that the sadness i felt during his illness & death

would stay with me forever.

  i feared the sadness would seep into every fiber of my being 

and take over. 

it would rob my cheerful disposition.

it would be a part of me daily, leaving me to view the life around me in a blur, void of color.

my friend edie lost her home 

& her worldly possessions 

in a house fire two weeks ago.

edie expressed that same fear. 

while i can't comprehend the magnitue of her loss,

i can understand that emotion.

today is edie's birthday & we are celebrating her today

edie is one of the most amazing women i've ever "not met" in  real life.

in my dream cul de sac, she would totally be my neighbor.

if she taught bible study at my church, i'd be in her class.

if she were still practicing medicine, she would be my doctor.

she has endured a loss i can not comprehend.

i feel far away & helpless.

i don't know what to say

but i don't want to say nothing

edie my prayer for you today is that you grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

that you have peace that surpasses all of our own understanding.

that you know in the depth of your soul that He will comfort all who mourn,

 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.

 They will rebuild the ancient ruins

several weeks ago i had the honor of edie guest posting for me. she blew me away.  the love for her family, the sacrifices that she has made & the way the Lord radiates in her life inspires me. daily.

 while her brick & mortar home is no longer standing. i know she will rise.

i know this current sadness will NOT take up permanent residence.

if you have not read edie's blog, i highly encourage you to spend some time with her.

i think you'll be just as smitten as i.

may you truly have a happy birthday sweet edie

we love you!!