just you wait!

no one has verbally complained

about all the continued chatter over here regarding graduation

& all the hoopla that has been our life for the last several weeks.

in fact 

many of you have left so many kind encouraging sweet notes regarding graduation

& for that , i thank you!

 one day soon i will talk & write about something other than this!

i pinky promise

but before i technically change the subject,

for those of you with daughters

i would love to encourage you with a little something first.

 let me first state the obvious

i've only had one graduate from high school

i still have two teenagers at home

& one little one who is rapidly approaching "that" age

so i'm no expert in the field of raising teenagers 

& clearly have no idea what to do with boys!

so here we go.

savannah & i have a great relationship.

she has a great relationship with her dad which i have LOVED watching flourish.

i've loved seeing her respect for him grow.

she has a great relationship with the Lord

& loves being at our church 

and serving the middle schoolers at our church.

but it wasn't always so perfect.

 the other night i was gooshing over what a great kid she was

 telling her my usual statement

that she's been a breeze to raise

she quickly reminded me that things weren't always so rosey.

honestly, besides just some attitude

she's only gotten in trouble with us once
so i didn't pick up what she was saying.

she quickly reminded me...."mom, you didn't like me much while i was in late middle school

& early highschool. don't you remember? we fought all the time?"

well she obviously doesn't understand the power of my poor memory!

honestly, sometimes i think our kids see our parenting,

our guiding ( while sometimes grumpy)

& our correction 

as "fighting".

unfortunately for her, she's the first born.

she had to travel the road of my single momness

more significantly than the other girls.

&

i can be bossy & i like order.

so that can make for some tight quarters.

all that to say

i'm thrilled, overflowing with joy

that now that it's time for her to leave

we are in a great place

& not "fighting".

she's the age where our correction has slowed way down.

she has earned many freedoms as far as curfew etc

so the rules aren't anything new, if anything, less.

trying to help her let go of being accountable to us

& more accountable to her heavenly father.

especially when the girls were younger

i would have a friend with older girls warn me

with the infamous

"just you wait"

just you wait for the attitude

just you wait for the expense

just you wait for them to really not like you.

just you wait.

now i know they meant well

& i have a sense of humor

but

what that also translated to me

was fear of the teenage years.

another infamous statement i heard more than once was something along the lines of

"God makes things get really bad with your teenager

to make it easier for you to send them out"

or

"she'll act so awful that you'll be more than happy to get her out of the house".

followed by

the ever encouraging

"just you wait".

years ago i vowed, if only to myself, to never say those words to a younger mom.

so i'm here today to tell you

it does not have to be that way.

these last few years of her living under our roof

we have purposefully tried to encourage her more

love on her more

allow her to make more decisions

freed up some rules

so that she will see that we trust her.

i think this trust translates acceptance and security to our kids.

which comes back to us with more respect.

& possibly because we made her feel more like an adult

she's acted more like an adult.

the last year before they leave does not have to be all arguments

all bad attitudes

all anger & fighting

it can be a time to reconcile

love on & encourage your teenager.

a time to heal wounds & mend bad habits

a time to build them up

a time to encourage them that they can succeed
a time to send them off with a full tank
not only in their car
but in their heart.
i can think of no other time in my parenting
when making her feel like we totally have her back
that we are proud of her
 & that we fully believe in her
has ever been as important as it is
this very moment.

the last few months of them living under the same roof
can be a great, awesome, life changing, precious, wonderful time....

just you wait!